Which means that I get the scoop. Ha!
In an article entitled "Today He Is a Dog; Actually, He Always Was," Gawker gossip columnist Lily Koppel reports that Mark Nadler, a New York cabaret singer, just threw a bark mitzvah for his 13 year-old dog.
In the long walk of history between man and dog, the bark mitzvah could be seen as an unexpected pit stop. Yet it was celebrated on Saturday night in the Bronx in a traditional way, with a party for family and friends of the 13-year-old that included a chopped-liver sculpture, choruses of "mazel tov!" (or, in this case, "muzzle tov!"), a cantor and gifts.
The party planners included Mr. Nadler's partner and a cousin from Israel. They served the "colorful dips...in double-bowl dog dishes." One of the guests wore
...a red, rhinestone-studded leash, which she had bought for the occasion, around her waist like a Chanel belt. "I told my guy it was his one chance to lead me," she said. "And I let him for a minute. At the pet shop they thought I was being kinky. I told them I was going to a bark mitzvah."
And to the guest who happened to be a cantor, Mr. Nadler said of his dog, "He chanted his arf-Torah this afternoon." *
And excuse me for doubling up on that pun by noting that Lisa wants to b-arf.
I dunno why, but this story didn't strike me as all that funny. Witty and ironic, yeah. Well written, definitely. But funny..? Mostly it's kind of neurotic.
*The haftorah is a segment from Prophets that is read after the weekly Torah portion, both of which are traditionally chanted by the bar/bat mitzvah celebrant.
