Time Out Tel Aviv has been publishing an abridged English version every couple of months for the past year. It is distributed free in hotels, and sometimes I pick it up for a giggle. It's just crammed with hilarious spelling, usage and grammar errors; clearly, they do not have any native English speakers doing the copyediting. The most recent edition contains an advertisement for a restaurant called Agenda, which is oh so unbelievable that I don't know quite where to start. So I'll just reproduce it here, with the best bits highlighted in blue.

Selection from the full menue
Sweet breakfast - Dutch pancakes in mapel syrup with a ball of creme de maskarpone and fruit salad in season
Tuna nuggets - Burt up tuna enveloped in herbs with addition of vietnamesi salad
Sofli - Balls of rice filled with pesto and mozzarela, deep fried in a poppy seed yoghurt sauce
Autumn salad - Vegetable based, apples, onions, cherry tomatos, fried fromage cheese and king walnuts
Alchohol salad - Baby leaves, cherry tomatos, orange fillet, carrots sugened pekans, strawberry schnaps sauce
Mixed fish - Tuna/salmon/denise on skewer "singed" with mustard and honey
Boritos - Hot tortyia filled with cooked red bens, onion tomatos and chili. Creamed mozzarela cheese.
Great location halfway between Haifa and Tel Aviv, ideal for business meetigs with free wireless "surfing" and lot's of "pampering"
Oy.