Arcadi Gaydamak at a Tel Aviv press conference.
Arcadi Gaydamak, the shady Russian-Jewish oligarch who allegedly made his billions by funneling billions of dollars in arms and oil-backed loans to Angola's government in return for lucrative oil contracts with Western oil companies, is now busily trying to buy the State of Israel, Inc. Mainstream Israel has been watching, bemused and cynical but mostly passive, as he bought the Beitar Jerusalem football (soccer) team, purchased a radio station, donated millions to charity, was investigated for money laundering, created tent camps for residents of the north who were displaced during the war last summer, started his own political party (Social Justice), made back-room deals with uber-icky politicians like Benjamin (Bibi) Netanyahu and even announced that he aspired to be the next mayor of Jerusalem. But now, with his latest move, he has gone Too Far.
Gaydamak has purchased a controlling interest in Tiv Tam, the chain of supermarkets that specializes in non-kosher products and stays open on Saturdays and holidays. According to newspaper reports, he paid $100 million for his shares - 80 percent above their value. In other words, he made the owners an offer they couldn't refuse.
What's so terrible about that? Glad you asked. Almost as soon as the news hit the Internet on Friday, the man who last year threw a huge bash to celebrate the very un-Jewish holiday called Sylvester (a.k.a. New Year's Eve) and most probably couldn't list the Ten Commandments if you put a gun to his head, announced that he intends to make Tiv Tam kosher. No more milano salami or imported non-kosher cheese! No more shopping for pork chops and frozen shrimp on Saturdays! Thus pronounced the Arcadi the pious: "In my view, as a Jew and as a public figure in Jewish society, the promotion, distribution and sale of pork products in Israel offends the Jewish tradition. Therefore, my first order of business will be to ban the distribution and sale of pork products."
The Tiv Tam branch in my neighbourhood.
This story was on the front page of all three major Israeli daily newspapers on Monday. Both Yedioth and Maariv put it on the front page of their magazine (opinion and human interest) sections, and Haaretz put it on the front page of the news section. Several Israeli bloggers have weighed in on the matter in both Hebrew and English. This, it appears, is what it takes to rouse mainstream Israel from its glorious apathy - take away Saturday shopping and non-kosher food. Who knew?
Yes, I am being cynical. Also, a bit of a hypocrite. Because the truth is that I love Tiv Tam - and not because I'm a big pork fan. There is a branch in my neighbourhood that opened a few months ago, and it has rapidly become my primary destination for groceries. First of all, it's wonderfully convenient: I no longer have to cut short my Friday afternoon cafe socializing in order to get to the shops before they close for the weekend. I can also buy all sorts of imported products that are not under rabbinical supervision, even though they don't contain any non-kosher ingredients - like Rajah brand chutneys and pickles, chili sauce from Vietnam, or real English cheddar cheese. I can purchase all these items at any number of small groceries around Tel Aviv, and there are dozens of shops that specialize in pork and non-kosher meat if that's what I'm looking for, but it's great to have a one-stop shopping destination - especially during the sweltering summer months, when schlepping from shop to shop for various items is distinctly unappealing. If Tiv Tam stops carrying these items, and is closed from Friday afternoon to Sunday morning, I won't have any reason to shop there anymore. I can get my staples from the makolet - the traditional corner grocery - with the added benefits of purchasing on credit and free delivery; as for the specialty items, I guess I'll go back to schlepping.
Frozen seafood at Tiv Tam
The other white meat
Rajah chutneys and Vietnamese chili sauce
I suspect that most Tiv Tam customers feel the same, which makes me wonder how long the chain will last if Gaydamak makes good on his
Tiv Tam also owns 75 percent of Maadaney Mizra, a meat processing factory that has been specializing in high quality pork products for over 50 years. The factory was originally established by Kibbutz Mizra, a veteran kibbutz that was founded more than 80 years ago - largely by German-Jewish pioneers. Gaydamak has promised that he won't fire any of the Mizra employees, but the kibbutz members are pissed off. They're proud of their factory's success, and of their secularism. They are suspicious of oligarchs and of religion, too.
Maadaney Mizra bacon and pork charcuterie at Tiv Tam
Ultimately, I think, the overheated reaction to the news about Gaydamak taking over Tiv Tam and making it kosher is not really about food. This is the first time the shady oligarch's power plays have affected the lives of mainstream Israelis. It was worrying to watch him buy his way into politics, but most Israelis are so disgusted by politics and politicians that they're beyond reacting. They shook their heads at the news and laughed at the political satire shows, but that's about it. But now he is depriving them of their freedom to shop at their leisure at a one-stop shopping destination in a convenient location. They are feeling the creeping effect of religious extremists trying to impose their values on them, via a megalomaniac who is pandering to the religious minority in order to gain access to political power. A kosher Tiv Tam symbolizes an erosion of freedom for the largely secular Israeli public. It'll be interesting to see how this story unfolds. Me, I think some aspiring entrepreneur will just establish another non-kosher chain that will fill the gap.
My friend Ana Schulick (photo here), a reporter who works for Channel 9 (Channel 2's Russian TV channel), did a fascinating Day in the Life of Gaydamak report a few weeks ago. The abridged version, with English dubbing and Hebrew subtitles, is here. The Hebrew version, which is much more cutting, is here (doesn't work in Firefox). She starts the Hebrew version by showing Gaydamak doing his morning exercises with a personal trainer, as she narrates, "This is the only time of the day when Gaydamak listens to a voice other than his own." At another point, he rapidly concludes a $100 million deal on the phone, then turns to her and says, "You work all day for, what, $300? I just made several hundred million with a single phone call."
Ana is a tough, seasoned reporter who has covered many, many episodes of As the Middle East Turns, but she told me she never felt as emotionally exhausted as she did after a day in the company of Arcadi Gaydamak.
Update: Ah ha! It appears that the shady oligarch may have changed his mind. That was fast. Apparently he is so ignorant of Jewish religious law that he actually thought he could make Tiv Tam kosher just by removing the pork products - thereby winning the support of the ultra-Orthodox rabbis. The article is full of eyebrow-raising quotes, like the one about the rabbi who supposedly said that not eating pork was more important than observing the sabbath. Wow, that's news to me.
